December 14, 2009Scandal? What scandal?

Call me crazy, but I just don’t get the Tiger Woods thing. The Guardian is already saying it’s a scandal that spells the death-knell for celebrity sponsorship. Personally, I can’t see it.

Of course, the jokes are already all over the place. Nike are changing their slogan to “Just Screw It” — and Durex are going to release a new range of condoms that “bring out the tiger in you!” — but jokes like this actually make a good point. Why the hell should this so-called scandal really affect Woods’ ability to to sell?

Frankly, “rich man has multiple affairs” is about as surprising a headline as “snow falls in winter” — there’s more than a whiff of schadenfreude about this, and I suppose America has always had more puritanical mores than us in the UK. But really — there’s no such thing as bad publicity and unless Woods built his reputation on being a family man endorsing family products, I can’t see the problem.

Accenture have dropped him, only proving that accountants really are completely dull. Tag Heuer are standing by him*. Presumably they’ll be the preferred watch of playboys this time next year. Good on ‘em – there’s no such thing as bad publicity, and it’s even better when it’s completely free.

The truth is that this is a pretty hysterical scandal. And I mean hysterical in the meaning of ‘hilariously funny’ as much as I mean hysterically over-wrought and hyped up by a press enjoying a mini-silly-season around the holidays. As an ad man, all I see are opportunities. Tiger could turn all this around in an instant with a well placed joke, by showing he’s not too big to laugh at himself. An ad for one of his sponsors that spoofs himself could be just the thing. Okay, so he had a pretty clean-cut image before. That has to change. But really, I’m no more surprised that a wealthy, famous young man likes a bit on the side than I was surprised by the ‘revelations’ that Kate Moss enjoys the occasional line of coke. Supermodel takes drugs? The press can write as many column inches as they like, they’re still not going to shock anyone.

So long as the column inches keep on churning out, so long as the free publicity train keeps on rolling, someone, somewhere, will aways find a way to make money out of it.

Come out of hiding, Tiger. And when you face the press for the first time, make sure you get paid a million for endorsing Tiger Brand Condoms. This press feeding frenzy is nothing more than the media’s way of making money out of you. You’re a celebrity. Keep on doing what celebrities have done since time immemorial. Sell.

It’s not like anyone’s going to think any less of you.

*Edit 18th Dec – Tag have dropped Tiger. I think it’s an extraordinary sign of weakness when a brand does this. It’s like not sticking by your mates, you know?

*Edit 24th Dec – Another source says Tag are going to stick by Tiger. Good on ‘em.’ I definitely don’t think his recent actions are going to harm his ability to sell alpha-male watches…

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